On Saturday we joined kayaking pals for an early morning out ‘n back to Milton Harbor and got some astonishing news from our friend who works for the state of New York.
He told us he can’t read our blog (at the office, anyway) because New York state considers 2geeks@3knots to be…obscene.
No joke. He types in the URL and up comes this big wall or something, sirens go off, ah-OOO-gah! Lights flash, ACCESS DENIED/INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT.
Now, what could possibly be triggering this censor?
Our best guess: knots. Or perhaps, all this talk of paddling? Tie-downs? Spray skirts?? Jean got to laughing so hard, she nearly dropped her paddle (kayak paddle!) which, in a steady 15-kt headwind and chop, you really don’t want to be doing.
We couldn’t decide what was funnier: the actual blocking of 2G3K or the realization that somewhere there’s a special task force of New York state employees whose sole, taxpayer-financed job is to sit and ponder every human urge, preference, and kink, and every possible euphemism for all-of-the-above, then compile a list of words and phrases that, when typed into a URL, will deny access by other New York state employees.
It’s mindboggling. But if you think about it, you can misconstrue just about anything.
Jean’s flashing back to her days as a baby copywriter at a big NY ad agency, in the creative mosh pit of junior writers and art directors known as the “fish tank” or “the dorm”—one large, sort-of office with ten desks and zero air. Dipping into the file-cabinet bar, we’d amuse ourselves with some procrastination-worthy challenge or other. Like, which totally legit movie titles could also work as titles for, ahem, a very different kind of movie?
“Big!” someone shouts. Obvious. Laughs anyway.
“Marathon Man!” Giggles.
“Five Easy Pieces!”
“A Night to Remember!” We’re just getting started.
“The African Queen!” Guffaws.
“Hannah and Her Sisters!”Eeeeeww.
“Mommy Dearest!” EEEEEWWW.
“The Third Man!”
“Bound For Glory!!!”
We are convulsed. We’ve topped each other until we can’t top anymore. Back to churning out endless American Express small-space ads. Then, a small voice from the corner—prim, demure, bookish Martha from Westport. Without looking up, she murmurs, “Two Mules For Sister Sarah.”
But we digress. The point is, 2G3K is a family blog. And to think that our home state disagrees…well, it kind of hurts our feelings. The most eye-popping thing you’ll find around here is this—the trailer for #5 in the incredible video series, This Is The Sea, by Justine Curgenven.
We’ve already ordered ours. You can, too, at paddling.net. Unless you happen to work for the state of New York.
Don’t you wonder what kind of pre-employment testing is done to determine if you would be capable of doing that job?
Who knows. But it wouldn’t surprise us if Martha from Westport was head of HR!